a disney movie where the prince eats ass
nature doin’ its thing down there.
i told a boy i liked his hair today in class and he laughed a little and could hardly say “thanks” and then buried his head in his hands the second i turned around i think i made him flustered omg
well aren’t you the casanova
I told a boy he wore the same cologne as my dad while we were making out and he asked me to leave
THE BEST THING I’VE SEEN ALL WEEK
Once I was walking home with some law school friends and they were like ”Why are you walking up that street your street is like three more streets up”
"Yeah but there’s a house on this street and sometimes their golden retriever naps in the sun on the sidewalk and I like to give him belly rubs"
Now all the law students walk up belly rub lane because law school is stressful and dogs rock
I bet that is the happiest dog
Once in high school my friend kicked her leg up and her shoe flew off and smashed into the ceiling with this huge BANG and the teacher whirled around and yelled “WHO DID THAT?” and my friend just stared at her as the ceiling tile fell and shattered on the floor between them and the shoe thumped down on top of it and my friend just went “that’s not my shoe” while standing there with one shoe on
Me as a mother